The Role of a Grandmother

I’m anxious.  I’m nervous.  I’m excited.  I pray I will be the grandmother God wants me to be to my soon-to-be-born grandson.  I want to be there for my daughter and son-in-law.  I love them both to the moon and back.  So how can I love this grandson more?  I know I will.  My heart will burst with love, compassion, energy, tenderness, humility, and trustworthiness. And best of all—I can’t wait to hear the words “Mimi.”

I recently read an article by Dr. Laura Schlessinger investigating whether a grandmother is a blessing or a curse. I found it interesting and informative. She begins by warning new grandmothers that they should keep their suggestions and criticisms to themselves and let the new mother figure out how she wants to handle situations and raise her child.

Dr. Laura suggests that the primary job of a grandmother is to support the parents. Practice self-control, patience, and a positive attitude as the parents allow you to have a part in their child’s life, or if you don’t, the opposite may happen—not allowing you to participate in your grandchild’s life.

Often, when a grandmother offers too much information, they can add to the anxiety and sense of confusion of the new parents. As grandmothers, we frequently struggle with the shifting from mom to grandmother.

Follow the wishes of the new parents.  Don’t argue, complain, or ignore the rules parents suggest because you think you know better.  Grandmothers can teach values, life skills, and ethnic heritage. They can also share their knowledge about the past, family history, and culture.

A grandmother's role in family life is ever-changing. They play different roles throughout their grandchild’s life—from mentor to historian to loving companion to often child-care provider.  A grandmother’s role doesn’t come with a job description.

A close relationship benefits the health and well-being of both a grandmother and grandchild. In healthy relationships, grandkids find a safe harbor in their grandmother and grandfather—someone they can trust and who is on their side.

Grandmothers and mothers should collaborate to love and support their children—it is a true blessing. Keep the lines of communication open.

All my best,