With school starting across the country this month, many are first-time empty nesters struggling with feelings of loneliness and possibly boredom. We know this big day is coming but do little to prepare for it. The moment we unloaded the boxes and situated our student in their new dorm room, reality hit us hard as we drove away. Unable to hold back the tears, I cried the entire way home. (Later, my daughter asked me why I didn’t cry, and the other mothers did?)
It’s been some time since I experienced those empty nester feelings, although the years that followed found our home to be a revolving door. My daughters moved in and out many times. But the fact was I loved having them home again. The most recent time, as we were transferred to Houston, we convinced our daughters to join us here. It was important for them to move home to get their bearings in a new city and find the right apartment location to commute to work.
Empty nest syndrome is a real thing. Feelings of loss and sadness can fester if we don’t take steps to alleviate them. Below I have listed twelve ideas to help you keep your mind and body active as your children continue their journey to adulthood. There are endless possibilities.
- Shed those tears. It’s important to feel those feelings and then move on. You are also entering your next chapter or phase in life. Embrace it.
- Volunteer. According to your talents, there are many possible prospects where you can volunteer – school, church, hospital, food bank, nursing home, assist a neighbor, or older adult. Just find something you are interested in to help those in need.
- Travel. Look at your bucket list. This is the perfect opportunity to take a trip you have always dreamed about. Visit a friend or family member you’ve put off seeing since the pandemic.
- Get Creative. Explore hobbies and your creative side that need to be rekindled - such as calligraphy, knitting, sewing, cross-stitching, quilting, scrapbooking, cooking, and painting—too many possibilities to name.
- Declutter Your Home. Take one room at a time and begin the decluttering process. This also allows you to do a deep cleaning (baseboards, curtains, etc.) and donate items you don’t use.
- Self-care. This is the time to enjoy downtime, relaxation, a bubble bath, massage, facial, or pedicure. With children home, we cater to their needs and often forget or post-pone our own. You can also catch up on binge-worthy TV.
- Journal. A great exercise to work through your feelings and emotions is journaling. When my husband traveled 100% during the Gulf War (1990-91), we were living in Dallas at the time. I started a prayer journal, and each night before retiring, I would write everything heavy on my mind that I needed to pray for. I would periodically go back and see what prayers had been answered. It was consoling and relieving. I jotted down my worries and gave them to God. God’s up all night anyway.
- Daily Meditation. Starting each day with daily meditation or devotion is quiet time (5-15 minutes) to arrange your thoughts and put yourself in the right frame of mind for the challenges of the day ahead. Numerous websites are devoted to sharing their free meditations each day.
- https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions
- https://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/thought-for-the-day
- https://www.aa.org/daily-reflections
- https://www.mindfulnessassociation.net/latest-news/free-daily-online-meditation/
*I’m not suggesting one website over another, nor do I get paid by any. I’m only making a suggestion. There are many available.
- Physical Activity. For years I’ve been told to get at least thirty minutes of exercise daily. One trainer explained that when we exert our body for at least thirty minutes, we boil our blood, which removes the impurities in our sweat. (That’s why you stink so bad when you sweat!)
- Take an online class. During the pandemic in 2019, I searched for an online course to learn as much as possible about writing my memoir. There are many to choose from. I have learned lots and have found a great place to learn about writing your memoir at Life Writers. Check it out https://lifewriters.us/login/
- Look at joining a club. Find a club that interests you – book club, garden club, bridge club, bunko group, wine club, church club, dinner club, or civic group. Our new subdivision has lots of clubs to join. All are listed in our local newsletter. You can also check out www.meetup.com in your local area.
- Start updating your home. Take one room in your home that you’d like to change. Perhaps paint color, curtains, blinds, bedding, carpet, tile, furnishings, lamps, and pictures. It’s best to work on one area at a time. Did you notice that wallpaper is becoming popular again? Changing some of your decorations or bedding can make a room look new.
I hope this blog post will help anyone looking for a new adventure to keep themselves busy. I found writing, or should I say writing found me? Remember always to have an attitude of gratitude, and things will be fine.
Have a blessed week!
All my best,
Julie
*Please visit my Goodbye-Girl Pinterest page for more ideas. https://www.pinterest.com/JulieSpirkFolkerts/
